Daily Fail #1

In a moment of self-actualization several years ago, I discovered the enormity of my clumsiness and inability to act "normal" for a full day. Since then, my apparent stupidity/level of awesome (open to consideration as to which is accurate) has just been increasing. Yesterday, my daily fail was one of those moments that makes me wish life had a play/pause/edit/cut/enhance/rewind button.

So, every Wednesday from 4:15-6:15, my friend and I volunteer as a baristas at the campus cafe. It's a pretty relaxing job; usually we bring homework in a meek attempt to study but actually talk about boys, classes, life, and quite frequently Vancouver (as we're both from there). Occasionally we get a customer (what?? A customer at a cafe?!), and whatever they order we leisurely craft...much like Michaealangelo painted the Sistine Chapel. Basically, it's no big deal.  :)

During yesterday's shift, a customer came to the counter and asked for a pourover coffee. Pretty much the easiest drink in the world to make (other than a cup of water), as long as you have ground coffee beans, hot water, and a strainer. Imagine my glee when I realized we were all out of coffee grinds.

FML.

[Just an aside, I only started drinking coffee this summer, and I've never personally made myself a cup - french press or otherwise; I've only made myself espressos. Unless you call Folger's instant crystallized grounds "coffee"]

The grinder looked pretty self-explanatory; I mean really, it's a grinder. I dumped some beans in the little bowl, put the lid on, pressed the only button on the machine....and CHAOS ENSUED.

You know those moments in life where everything stops for a second, and you can survey an entire situation? For a split second I saw everything, from the customer's eyes widening and my coworker and I scrambling, to the coffee grounds erupting from a slot in the grinder a la Mount St Helens. Apparently I hadn't noticed a separate container I was supposed to attach, meant to collect the grounds that were getting expelled (see picture at the beginning of blog). 

Needless to say, there was a big-ass mess. Coffee grounds EVERYWHERE. The floor was covered, the counter had a thin film of grind, and I had grounds on my shirt and all over my arms. It was terrible. [That's what she said, but not about coffee ;) ]

I cleaned up and made a new batch like a boss, but my level of embarrassment was catastrophic. 

Oh, life. 

This needs to be addressed.

LADIES. I think we all need to discuss something around this time of year.


Halloween should not be about unleashing your inner slut. I've gotten to the point of disgust...please, no more "slutty reindeer", "slutty construction worker", or "slutty ballerina". Do you know what I was this year? My friend and I dressed up as Mario & Luigi. We went to Value Village, found some overalls and t-shirts in the mens department, got a foot-long moustache each, gloves from Dollarama, hand-painted some free hats, and viola:

(sorry it's horozontal, I don't know how to flip it!)

We got several compliments on our costumes that night, and I had a lot of fun creating it! 

The "slutty reindeer" costume? I actually didn't make that one up. Last night (well, technically this morning) my friends and I went to McDonald's for an impromptu midnight fries run. While we were there, a girl came in dressed in a skin tight brown skirt that just barely covered her butt, a white tank top, a pair of flats, and reindeer ears. AND THAT'S ALL. People, we live in the prairies. She was so hammered that she ended up passing out on a table. She was by herself, and probably about 15 years old. My friends and I (who were just a group of girls), woke her up and asked if she needed a ride home.  She insisted that her friends were coming to get her, but we made sure she called them and we waited with her for a while until we figured she'll sober up eventually, and until then McDonald's was probably the best place for her to be. 

It's heartbreaking and frustrating that girls as young as 15 years old are following the trends placed by society. When I was 15, my friends and I dressed up as a doctors...not "slutty doctors", but we actually got scrubs from VV. I hate how things have changed.

Is it too much to ask for one year where everyone is tasteful? Just one year where I don't see girls use Halloween as an excuse to wear lingere in public, corsets, a tub of makeup and tease their hair to no end, then plop on a pair of ears and call themselves a cat? 

Even Nicole Richie is sick of it:

Just a thought ladies! Try and be classy. The boys you attract with those outfits are not the ones that you'll want to spend the rest of your life with. Sure it's fun now, but dressing like a slut will give everyone the wrong impression. Modesty is a great asset; attain it, use it. Wear more clothes.

[Also, if you're in 8th grade, PUT DOWN THE BOOZE. You shouldn't be drinking if you're not even the age of consent. What do you have to look forward to later in life if you start partying when you're 13 or 14?]

What I Do Instead Of Studying

The tabs I have open right now:
-Facebook
-Hotmail
-American Eagle
-Aldo Shoes
-Texts From Last Night
-Blogspot (obviously) x2


The tabs I SHOULD have open:
-None


The homework I SHOULD be doing:
-Psychology
-International Development Studies paper
-Studying for midterms

The homework I am doing:

-None

Dangit.

We all have one of those days...

New York is one of the places I have always, ALWAYS wanted to go to. By living in Winnipeg, I am closer than I have ever been to the Big Apple and just the knowledge of that fact is driving me crazy. I would give so much to stand in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by thousands upon thousands of bustling city-goers. When I look up, I want to barely see the tips of skyscrapers...not the empty expanse of blue sky. I want car horns blowing, music blaring, shiny briefcases gripped by polished businesswomen. I want--no, I crave--big city life. 

Don't get me wrong, I love small towns (of which I categorize Winnipeg, har har). They have a different feel; a more relaxed ambience. But, my God, I could never live the rest of my life in one!

What can I say? I guess I'm a city girl :)

The gnomes in my heater are at it again..

WARNING: Contains complaints.


So, I recently discovered what "prairie winter" means. 


Well technically, I haven't experienced the impending -50 degrees plus wind chill and blinding blizzards that everybody keeps promising me will happen, but cut me some slack, it's only October!


What I mean is, I've discovered the dry, biting, constant-and-necessary-reapplying-of-chapstick type cold. It hits you like a wall, but unlike pacific weather, it doesn't cut you to the core. Instead, it finds any exposed skin and attacks it like a plague. Ughhhhhhhhhhh.


FYI: Here's what happens in Winnipeg winters, fmylife:

HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN??!?!?!?!?!

Now check out Vancouver winters:

Oh wait, I couldn't find a picture because IT NEVER SNOWS IN VANCOUVER.

-_________________-

(That's an exaggeration. It snows about once a year and then rains the same day)

Now that all that complaining is out of my system, I have to admit I'm pretty excited for the beautiful Winnipeg snow-laden wonder (see below). I have a soft spot for walks in the dark as the snow falls silently, each step crunching with my anticipation for maybe, just maybe, a white Christmas.

I love the snow, but I just hate the cold.

Gorgeous!